I’m sure many of us would have heard of Conan Grey’s song Heather by now, but if you haven’t, please go listen to it. In the song Heather, Conan tells the tale of the girl we all want to be, the one we’re all secretly jealous of. It’s blown up on social media with many people realising they were able to relate to many aspects of the song, and it touches on something we rarely confront.
There’s one reason why I personally think this song blew up, and it’s because Conan openly brings up the unspoken hate we feel for people who we supposedly have no reason to hate. Heather conveys the dark side of being human and being in love that we don’t really seem to talk about, through the themes of admiration for this perfect girl which slowly builds up to jealously to eventually — full on hate for her.
The lines : “You gave her your sweater / It’s just polyester, but you like her better / I wish I were Heather,” seem mild at first, with Conan professing his envy for heather, but we see that later on in the next verse he goes “But how could I hate her? / She’s such an angel / But then again, kinda wish she were dead.” At this point, his emotions have slipped from envy to plain hatred. It’s this slow build up towards the moment of wishing heather didn’t exist which makes the song even more satisfying in an odd sense.
Ah, that split second where we wish someone so perfect didn’t exist. Of course, it’s a low moment to feel that way, but we don’t have to pretend we’re angels who’ve never had thoughts of wishing people didn’t exist, of wishing we could be them and hating our own heathers for being everything we always wanted to be and everything we cannot be. Is jealousy normal? Justified? Healthy? All I can say is that it’s definitely an intrinsic part of the human experience. While obsessive jealousy should not be glorified in anyway, it’s nice to finally be able to relate to a song which speaks so openly about this gut wrenching feeling.
At the heart of it all, we’ve all experienced some form of wistfulness for something we can’t have. The constant need and wanting to feel pretty like Heather, to be Heather, and to see is something we I’m sure we all have in common at one point of our lives.