The way the street light cast a glow on the rain pouring down reminded me of you,
right on the corner by that bakery we used to go to,
our glossy eyes and cheap beer breath the cover of our romance,
That's how it usually was, stupid random things would remind me of our time together
and I would have to swallow the lump of sadness all over again.
Time doesn't heal, that's a lie.
Time makes you move on, and bury those feelings because new ones arise,
for someone else,
someone else who in 9 months will leave again... and then these feelings that were buried
while your happiness shone through for someone else
will come to the surface even bigger and hungrier than before.
You stub out your joint and exhale a huge stream of smoke into the night air.
You haven't figured out how to make the feelings stop yet, how to not care for anyone at all.
Shit, maybe no one has figured it out.
You take out your cracked phone, the result of drunken anger from stupid phones calls at 2am,
and check an unread text message from an old friend from back home.
Another friend moving on with their life, doing the adult thing.
Pregnant, and the wedding is next summer
"Can you make it?'
Another wedding, the third in the last two years.
How do they do it?
How do these people find someone so young
How is it possible all these 20 somethings have found someone who is in sync with their reckless hearts?
they have their whole life infront of them, how do they do that? whats the protocol?
Because, I'm clearly not getting it.
But do I really want to?
Be the cookie cutter person that society wants me to be?
Woah, the weed is getting to me now, making me fuzzy and chill..
these thoughts don't matter when I am tipsy, .. but finding something that makes me feel this good sober?
that has been the issue, other people seem to be able to do it,.. but then again,
I know by now I shouldn't compare myself to other people.
I am different, so different from all of them.