Bisexuality: It's not a phase mom, it's a lifestyle.

Thursday, July 15

By Ana Trucco

Biphobia is defined as prejudice, fear or hatred directed toward bisexual people. However, it lives on feelings and actions much smaller than those words. This issue is, clearly, very similar to homophobia but I feel like it's more slept on.

Coming out as bisexual is extremely hard because its a very open term that lots of people can’t completely grasp. I cannot stress how many times I’ve heard phrases like “She’s just gay but can’t take the heat” or “You can’t possibly like both, can you?” Guess what? We can!

It's comments like the previous ones that make most of us, bisexuals, doubt our sexuality for years before coming to terms with it. Questions like “But you still like boys more right?” or people just straight up asking for percentages of liking within sexes is what made me dread telling people about my sexuality. I felt like I needed to constanly validate myself or make up answers for these questions, I even wondered if I was truly bi because of them. 

Bisexual people don’t need to like both sexes equally in order to be sure about their sexual orientation. Even if someone likes dating men more than any other gender or sex, it doesn’t make them any less bisexual. We, as a society, have to tear down this misconception that someone can be “a little bit bi” or “not really bi because they wouldn’t have a romantic relationship with their opposite sex”. If someone claims to be bi, it’s because they are. That’s the term that works for them, and people have no right to try and question them or try and “make sure whether they really are” because it’s not their place. 

We are not confused, indecisive or dramatic, we are bi and it's not a phase.

Furthermore, a bisexual person in a monogamic relationship is still bi. They are not straight because they are dating the opposite sex nor gay because they are dating the same. It doesn’t work that way, really.

In conclusion, it’s time to stop making bisexual people feel invalid in their own skin and identity. We don’t owe you any explanations and we do not deserve being constantly questioned about our choices. It’s never right to try to make someone doubt themselves.

If you are bi and reading this, know you are valid. Your reality is no one else’s but your own and you do not owe answers to anyone but yourselves. And, if you’re not bi, I hope this gave you some insight on what we feel like after these particular actions which are incredibly naturalized. Hope this changes something for you. 

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