Dark Amber Liquid

Monday, January 03

By Lisa Porter

The problem, I say to myself as I drag the brush through my unruly hair

Is we think we have more time

But we don't 

Not really

And the helpless feeling that washes over me

Makes me reach for that drink

Dark amber liquid gives off the best reflection as I stare into it

Where will I go from here?

How do I pull through the crumbling earth around me?

How does anyone?

The burning sensation that slides down my throat doesn't bring tears to my eyes this time

Because, unlike every other time, I have gotten used to it

To us

Separate but together

United in heartbreak and love

Both sides of a different story

Soon, I will need something stronger, and stronger, and stronger

That dark amber liquid just doesn't give me the same feeling anymore

But, I am tired and this is the end of my rope

It is hard to care about things that won't matter when you're 6 feet under or ashes blowing in the wind

But every day, we all try, try and try

Keep trucking through

Trying to find joy in joyless things, trying to find a point to all this

Dark amber liquid running through my veins

The fuel I need to walk to the sink and pour the rest down the drain

Swirling, swirling, swirling

As if it is asking me why I have turned on it, my old friend

Around, around, around

Until we all fall down




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