I went to my therapist and told him that I was not good enough. That I was not good at anything. He only asked me one simple question. "Has anyone ever told you that?" I kept assuming that I'm not good enough, until one day someone asked me, "Has anyone ever told you that you're not good enough?". And the answer was right in front of me. No. No one has ever told me that. It was only me.
It was only me who always told me that I am not worthy. Not worthy of success, attention, praise or love.
It was only me who always told me I'm not better than others. That I lack. I lack in talent, skill and knowledge. When all that I ever lacked in was faith. Faith in myself.
I kept assuming that I was not good enough, and never realised that what kept me from feeling complete and competent was my own lack of faith in myself. Who else could have cheered me up when I was myself pullling me down? I worked on avoiding the company of toxic people, when I was myself being the most toxic. I spent all day in my own company and never realised that I wasn't treating myself well.
When I took a break from life, and asked myself, "Has anyone ever told me I was not good enough?". The answer was right in front of me.