I'm homesick for a place that was never my home
homesick for a place that was never my own
Perhaps I had dreamed it this place I envied
or perhaps I had heard about it in a passing song
or a book or a poem
maybe I had glanced at it in a map I had roamed
I was homesick for people I had never met
homesick for the shelf where my travelling bag had set
it hadn't been used in a while
a month or a year
probably wouldn't be used again until the next snowfall was near
I was homesick for the hands I never held
homesick for the truths you withheld
like the one about love and lust and tears
and especially the one about the monsters you feared
I was homesick for the warm spot on the bed next to you
homesick for my daily routine that you knew
like how I had to watch the sun rise every Sunday
along with two cups of coffee and two chapters of my book
and how I had to meditate up the stairs in that nook
I was homesick for a life long gone
homesick for the missing words to that song
the one we sang all night drunk and happy
where we kissed eachothers cheeks and pretended to be sappy
See I guess home can be a place or a thing
it can be a hug or a smile
or a special ring
It can be pearls and diamonds
a blanket or bed
it can be drunken promises that your husky voice said
I guess I'm homesick for everything that was left in the past
everything that will be remembered
all the things that happened fast
I guess I am homesick for the girl who is free
the girl who smiles bright
the girl I wanted to be
I guess what I'm homesick for
is me
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