Since a lot of people go through this I told myself that maybe sharing my point of view might be helpful. A small amount of time has passed since I got out of relationship that was quite toxic.Numbers say that to move on you need half the time you've been in a relationship – meaning if you have been together with someone for two years you are supposed to move on in about a year. I myself dont't believe in that because those things depend mostly on who you are as a person and what kind of relationship you've had, how long did it last, how did the breakup happen, how old you are and many other things that can affect the mourning time.
So I made a theory I call "I'll know" that holds 3-steps that should be helpful for everyone going through that. CAUTION Before getting to these steps I shall tell you that
– Being friends with your ex immediately after the breakup it's not a thing to do if you want to hang out with them you will see after you get over them
- Having them on social media is unnecessary so GET THEM OFF (no stalking!)
- Pictures might make you cry or maybe they don't but longterm looking, what will you have them for?
- Why do you need the number again? (If they call you or text you believe me it'll be a good feeling answering "Who is this?" so resist the temptation.
Now that we cleared this out let's get into the steps of selfhealing shall we?
1. Make goals!
Know what you want and make plans for achieving it, you'll feel good about yourself and gain confidence and happiness. Goals don't need to be neccesarily big. Plan small like cooking once a week, saving money, stop drinking coffee/smoking. It's important to stay on track of these things.
2. Meet friends!
You should go out see the fresh air, hang out, meet people you haven't seen in ages, go out with classmates/coworkers and just talk about anything you think of because you shouldn't be alone during this time.
3. Me time!
During me time you should let your feeelings out, plan your days, do things that relaxes you, watch series, talk on the phone, pet animals, sleep, go shower a lot, go shop, cook,… whatever to put a smile on your face or relaxation to your heart.
To be realistic I have hold to everything I wrote up there every single day since I broke up and I finally feel like renew person. Single, very happy, completely busy but always free for family and friends. I make plans daily because it really gives me a feeling that I have this situation under control and I know that for that reason only my future will be bright.
I didn't want a boyfriend but I was ready to settle for the right one, but as it shows he wasn't. It was a great lesson and I learned a lot about him, myself and how we work together and it gave me a great view of what I want from a partner, myself and most importantly my life.
Bad feelings pass even though it doesn't look like it at the moment, soon you will be you again, but maybe a bit different – smarter but as soon as you start working on yourself the sooner you will be the version of you that you would like to see walking through the path of your life.
Be proud, be you, be true!