Thumbnail Art by Nicolina Hannus
There would be no me.
I’ve found comfort in the worn pages
Of the notebook on my bedside table.
When the odds were against me
And I wanted to give it all up
I bled onto the pages
And that was enough.
My whole life, I have been overprotected.
I hated it because I could never do
Anything for myself.
But even when I was not allowed to ride the bus, or go to town unless I was with four plus friends, or go to a friends house before our parents have talked,
It still happened to me. And it wasn’t my fault.
When you give too much, you fall.
No matter how many times I get hurt
I always stay.
I keep giving until there is nothing left to give.
I wish I could leave sooner.
Why do I feel the need to let someone break
Me down every time.
Why do I always have to rise from my own ashes like a Phoenix?
A hopeless romantic
I can’t recognise myself in the mirror and it’s your fault.
You took me and you tried to mould me in your image, you tried to make me “perfect”.
When you decided that I was a lost cause, you discarded me.
Have I ever crossed your mind in the dead of night?
Because you cross mine.
I find myself wondering that if I could go back, would I leave you alone.
But without you, I could never find myself.
You broke me down and made me into something I hated, but
I built myself up and I am beautiful with my cracks and wounds and bruises.
I will never be broken again.