The Great Pain Of Losing A Mother

Sunday, November 17

By Laura Stevanović

I want to start off by saying that this topic might be triggering if you might have through a similar experience. I am preparing to share my story of the relationship I had with my mother and how it ended because cancer took her away from us. I would also like to mention that I am at peace to know that she is not in pain anymore.

Now I will begin with the truth: I have not always been on the best terms with my mother, but the more I grew, the more I understood her ways. I was able to talk to her about topics that would not even been open for discussion before; and all of the sudden we had hours and hours of talks that we shared on her death bed as my heart got warmer by her talking to me.

She was the person I always knew I could turn to for whatever I needed, usually a good and honest talk. The more time flies, the more i see how it affects my life, realizing I only have one parent with which I can't even have a normal conversation. It is terrifying; mostly because my father is not as young as my mother was and works a tough job at every hour. I am always paranoid that any day I can get that second call announcing another death of someone I was depending on and took for granted.

My mother had cancer on her gut and she fought with it for over a year; however, the great pain did not stop her from being active, at least not at the beginning when she was still taking care of my 6 year old half-brother, taking him to kindergarten then leaving for chemotherapy. 

I am very thankful that I have seen her as often as I did during this time because she always let me know that she wants me near her and that she loves me.

Before she died, we went back to all the problems we had in our past and cleared them, leaving her at peace when she left. The most important thing is that she knew how much I appreciated her taking the time to listen to me and talk to me. We would  smoke a ciggarette or two, drink a coffee, and share a smile; it became our little ritual.

I would suggest anyone that has someone sick to talk to them, clear the air, and use your time wisely with people for as long as you still have them and solve your differences with people you have done wrong and have a caring life with people that care about you.

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