The window in the attic

Tuesday, November 30

By Lisa Porter

I held my breath so I couldn't breathe, but that didn't stop my thoughts from swimming to the surface 

I counted to ten so I could block it out, but the dizzy spells it caused didn't seem worth it

There must be another way to snuff this feeling out, one that didn't require pain

But if there was such a way, I would wager a bet it wouldn't take long for me to start feeling insane

When the breaths wouldn't hold and my thoughts stayed jumbled I realized I needed a new setting

This run down attic with the boxes of memories stacked 6 feet high only made the anxious more anxious and the fretted more fretting 

The thoughts of the basement flashed through my mind with its dark dungeon door and the hidden back room, 

The perfect place for a last rest for a person or people who only knew and felt doom

But if I left, he wouldn't be able to find me and I promised I wouldn't stray from the plan

But, if he really cared, and wanted to take charge he would have from the beginning, acted more like a man

I shook my head to propel the thoughts away, I couldn't be worried anymore, what's done was done

And in the early rays of morning, when the birds started their song, it would be clear who had won

Should I do this? Or quit while I'm ahead?

Once this is done, there will be no stopping, because I now know where the evil things led

Oh well, too late to deliberate, I'm too far in to stop

Push the button, light that fuse and pray for the signifying pop

And when morning came, and that attic was empty, stale smoke the only thing that remained, 

If you looked closely enough, past all the debris and the dust, you would see the work of a girl who had always been untamed

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