Last night, my s/o asked me, have you ever fallen in love? My direct response was yes, I thought about my first love, when I was 17, when I expected him to be the love of my life.
However, I’m 20 now, and my definition of love and soulmate have definitely changed. I used to perceive my soulmate as someone whom Id give the world to, but would expect nothing in return. I was okay with the idea of being unhappy, as long as he was satisfied. But the truth is, I wasn’t happy at the end, I was suffering, I was crying and literally questioning what I was doing wrong. After a very friendly and mutual breakup, I totally changed. My perspective changed. I started valuing myself, recognizing my self worth and what I really want and need in a relationship. It took a lot of time, effort and self-reflection to finally know and understand my value in a relationship, and honestly, that’s the beauty of it. Communicating your feelings and needs when they’re clear in your head, and just noticing the red flags right away, surrounding yourself with positive and smart people. I finally know my worth and my vision on relationships.
What I am saying is, for me, a soulmate doesn’t necessarily mean that, I’m head over heels and give him everything and my whole life depends on him. It simply means that, my life is complete without him, but he is a noticeable added value to my life, and not a missing piece to the puzzle.
So I do think that I am capable of falling in love again, but I have yet to find my person, my partner, my other half, my soulmate.